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My name is Will Rogers, I'm (roughly) 25 years old, and I'm confused by mostly everything. All I do is write and talk.

Friday, February 24, 2012

The End!

This will be my last post on Blogger.

Because I have a brand new website! It retains every post I ever made here, every comment, everything!

More than that, check out the new site I now share with Bobby for not only our podcast, but also some crazy new content we're working on:

My new website: www.WillRogers2000.com!
The site I share with Bobby: www.WillAndBobby.com!

Please bookmark both and spread the word!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

WBKE - Episode 6: Crazy People Part 1

This week on Will and Bobby Know Everything, Bobby and I welcome my sister Kristen Rogers onto the show to discuss Crazy People!

In Part One of the show (which is also our first two-parter) Bobby, Kristen, and I discuss a toothless sandwich maker, a dangerous "pregnant" woman, and a professor Bobby and I had who may have been a ghost!

How can you resist!?

This episode is also a big deal because it's being posted on Bobby Koester's birthday! So give Bobby the gift of listening to this show!

Look for the show on iTunes by clicking here!
Stream it on your iPhone or Android phone by searching for it in the free Stitcher app!

Please subscribe to the show, and please leave any feedback you'd like. You can also get involved in the show by emailing us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com! We're always open to new hosts with new topics.

Also, because the show is free, and because it's just for fun, all Bobby and I ask is that, if you like it, please tell 3 people! No money, no nothing, just tell 3 people if you like the show!

Thanks a lot guys, take it easy, and remember that Part 2 of Crazy People will be online in a week!

And again, happy birthday to Bobby!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Scary Story Time - February, 2012


Hey guys, before we get into the story, I have a quick announcement. In light of finding out how many Friday, the 13ths we'll be experiencing in 2012, and due the the fact that I had decided to post a scary story on each one of them, I've had an idea: Instead of just randomly posting these things whenever I feel like it, I'm going to turn it into a monthly feature.

On the 13th of every month, you can expect a new Scary Story Time! I'm going to stop numbering them though, which will help, because sometimes, instead of posting a long story, I might post several short ones. And that will get clumsy. So now I'll just label each post by it's month and year, as you can see from the title of this post.

Also, at the very base of this post, look for the "Scary Story Time" tag that I'll place on each SST. By clicking on that tag, you'll have a quick consolidated list of every SST I've posted.

And finally, don't forget that JUST YESTERDAY, Bobby and I posted a BRAND NEW episode of our podcast Will and Bobby Know Everything centered on The Supernatural! So basically, once you're done with this creepy story, you should immediately search for the episode on iTunes or Stitcher, click HERE to read my post about the episode, or click HERE to listen right from your browser!

Now on to the story:

Quick disclaimer: I'm a really big fan of horror movies and scary stories. Recently I've been finding a lot of interesting little scary stories written anonymously by people on the internet, so I decided to start sharing some of the ones I like. You should know, before you read on, that I did not write any of these stories, unless otherwise noted. You should also know that I won't always be posting that I enjoy 100%. There could be a ten page story that I post because I like one sentence of it. In that case, I assume I'll explain why I posted horse-shit and what merit I see in it. Sometimes, I'll post "scary" stories that I hate, think are stupid, or maybe even funny. But more than that, you should really know that some of these stories may be somewhat graphic, so just steel yourself for anything, especially poor spelling and grammar (I don't edit these stories). No matter what, though, I hope you enjoy them too, and if you know any stories or sources, please share them with me. Also, if you have any requests, just ask, I have a huge archive of this stuff!

From the Peephole

There was a male college student living by himself in an old apartment.  There was a small hole in his room’s wall, and he could peek into the next room from there.  His next-door neighbor was a young woman.  The woman apparently wasn’t aware of the peephole, so the man thought himself lucky and fell into a pattern of peeping on her.

Then, one day…

Around 3am, the man woke up to the sound of shuffling.  Wondering what it was, he realized that it was coming from next door.  Maybe she brought home a guy?  Feeling his excitement mount, the man looked through the peephole.  The room next door also had the lights off so he couldn’t see that well, but he could see two shadows for sure.  The man felt the thrill well inside him, thinking This is it! when he noticed something was off.

The big shadow that he assumed was the man kept moving, but the woman wasn’t moving at all.

When his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he realized that the man was punching the woman.  The woman seemed to be be gagged, so even if she wanted to scream all she could do was grunt.  In the end, he couldn’t even hear the groaning anymore.  Then the man’s shadow left the room.

A home intruder!

The man decided to call the police, but he stopped in his tracks with the phone in his hands.  If he reported this to the police, his peephole would be discovered.  Wanting to protect himself, the man wavered.

Within a week the police showed up at the apartment.  Apparently, the woman really was killed.  Inevitably, the police found the peephole and asked the man if he’d seen anything.  

The man replied, “I didn’t even realize there was a hole in the wall.  I never noticed anything unusual that day.”

He was asked several more questions, but it didn’t seem that the police suspected him of anything.  He couldn’t forget having witnessed the murder, but the guilt of not reporting it to the police quickly evaporated.  Even two weeks later, the culprit was still on the loose.

Then, one day…

Around 3am, the man woke up to the sound of shuffling again.  However, ever since the incident next door, no new tenants had come to live there.  Even so, the sound was definitely coming from next door.  Trembling, he peeked through the hole, but he didn’t see anything moving.  Thinking it was his mind playing tricks on him, he began to move away from the hole.

Suddenly, as if trying to fill up the small hole completely, a wide-open bloodshot eye appeared.  The man could only stare back, frozen with fear.

Then, a raspy woman’s voice rang through the silence.

“You saw, didn’t you?”

THE END

Holy shit, that's a hell of a story. My hearts pounding. I want more scary stuff...I WANT to listen to Will And Bobby Know Everything - Episode 5: The Supernatural, but I'm afraid I might have a heart attack! I'm sure you're having the same problem, so here's a good pallet cleanser to calm your nerves before you move on to WBKE:


Phew, that's better. Now on to WBKE Episode 5!

Seeya!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

WBKE - Episode 5: The Supernatural

Turn on the lights.

Make sure the door is locked.

This week Will and Bobby Know Everything is delving into the topic of the supernatural.

Death.

Ghosts.

Abandoned factories.

This week's host Alex Silverii brings to Bobby and me tales of the disturbing things left behind by the previous owners of his family's house.

I tell one of the most terrifying stories known to man.

And Bobby is too masculine and rational to entertain such bullshit.

Listen to it, it's a fucking hoot. And a holler. And a SCREAM!!!

Will and Bobby Know Everything - Episode 5: The Supernatural is now available on iTunes (click here) and Stitcher. Load it up in your phone for later, or stream it through your browser right now (by clicking here)!

Please enjoy, please subscribe, and please tell your friends!

And don't forget to leave comments here or send feedback to WillAndBobby@gmail.com

Also don't remember that Bobby and I are always welcome to new hosts for new topics. We don't care who you are, everybody has something interesting to say, and everybody has a topic they care about. Please send all requests to us at that same email address: WillAndBobby@gmail.com.

It doesn't matter where you are, because through the magic of Skype, it'll sound like you're right here in the room with us!

Episode 6 will be online in a week. We recorded it just a few nights ago, and it's fucking magic.

Here are direct links to past episodes:

Friday, February 10, 2012

Ongoing: Film School

I think this'll be my first post that I constantly return to with updates, assuming anyone gives a shit.

In the past few months, my girlfriend and I have decided that it's time to make an important change.

We need to watch all the movies that people criticize us for having not seen yet.

Have you ever been talking to somebody when they bring up...lets say The Godfather? You tell them that you haven't seen The Godfather so you can't really say much about it, and they fire off with, "Oh my god, you've never seen THE GODFATHER?! It's so good!" You sheepishly shrug and they urge you that you "HAVE TO SEE IT!"

That happens to me all the time, and I'm sick of it. 

And those people are right. 

So a few weeks ago, Allie and I sat down and watched The Reservoir Dogs. I had seen it before, but she hadn't. It was amazing. The other night we watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I loved it, I can honestly say that it's one of the better movies I've ever seen.

Maybe we're way overdue for these things, but we're making up for lost time. The movies don't even have to be classics. They just need to be movies that people love.

So here's a brief list of movies I haven't seen that I know I'm supposed to, just off the top of my head:

The Godfather Trilogy
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Leon: The Professional
Amelie
Annie Hall
Casino
Boogie Nights
Magnolia
Eyes Wide Shut
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
12 Angry Men
Rear Window
Citizen Kane
Dr. Strangelove: yadda yadda yadda
Full Metal Jacket
Raging Bull

You get the idea. I'm sure there are a lot I'm missing, and this is my first attempt at creating an actual tangible list, so please write to me here, on Twitter (click here), or on Facebook (click here) with your suggestion of movies I need to see. Especially because I'm sure there are a lot of movies I can't think of that I need to see, so help me out!

Also feel free to write in with what movies people give you shit at because you haven't seen them!

Tonight Allie and I are taking care of another movie we've been urged to see: we're going to the State Theater to see Midnight in Paris.

Booya.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

WBKE - Episode 4: Dating

Let me get this out of the way:

On Episode 4 of Will and Bobby Know Everything, Sara Mercadante joins Bobby and me via Skype. The topic this week is Dating.

Listen as Bobby and I go out of our fucking minds.

Maybe it's because the host isn't with us in person, or maybe it's because Bobby and I had more coffee than usual, but regardless of reason, Bobby and I are out of control this week. It's awesome. Listen close.

Now this is important:

We're all adults here, right? Well in the show this week, we discuss something that might be considered immature and gross, but I say suck it up and let go, and have fun. Yes it's gross, but it's also fucking hilarious.

Look for it on iTunes and Stitcher!

Click here to go directly to the show on iTunes!

Or click here to listen within your browser!

It's a fucking good one, tell your friends, because everyone should hear this horse shit.

Send any comments or questions to WillAndBobby@gmail.com

Bobby and I are always looking for new hosts for the show! You can tell it's pretty laid back and stupid, and this episode is a good example that you don't need to be with us in person, we'll take hosts from anywhere in the world, as long as you have a strong internet connection. So please let us know if you're interested, I don't give a fuck who you are or what the fuck you want to talk about, it's just for fun, so email us!

Episode 5 next week!

Saturday, February 4, 2012

A Tale of Two Bullies: Me and My Murderer

I'm a bully.

At least, I was

I might still be, but that's not the point.

I'm not going to justify myself, or make it seem like my bullying ways were legitimate or fair, or excusable, but I'll tell you right up front that I didn't intend to be a bully. I meant to be the funny guy.

It's a popular myth that bullies are afraid of the people they attack, but I think that's actually an accidental result of the mocking rather than the immediate cause.

Bullies attack people that are just different, it's that basic.

It's where racism comes from.

This post isn't expressly about me, but I'll tell you a quick story about myself:

When I was 17, I was sitting in stand-still traffic, in the right most lane. I was listening to music and hanging out, when I saw a big muscular black guy walking up the side of the road. Before I knew what happened, I instinctively locked the doors of the car.

My heart sank...

What did I just do!? Did I assume this guy was going to try to steal my car and sit in the traffic?? Was I a racist? What the fuck??

I was seriously worried that I had just revealed myself to be a bigot. I thought about it a lot.

A few months later, I found myself sitting in more traffic. In the right most lane again. Listening to music. This time I looked up and saw a little old white lady walking up the side of the road. Before I knew what happened, my hand reached out and locked the doors again.

HOORAY!

I'M NOT RACIST, I'M JUST AFRAID OF EVERYTHING!


Especially little quiet people who wear bow-ties. Which brings me to my story:

There's a guy that I used to be "friends" with on Facebook, who, for the sake of this story, I'll refer to as "Elmer."

Elmer is a fucking asshole.

On Facebook, Elmer is constantly posting statuses, usually around three times a day, which are typically centered around how abortion should be made illegal (this is technically up for debate, but it's not the point of this post. If you have a problem with giving people a choice as to how they should conduct themselves and decide their future, go ahead an give me a reasoned argument for removing someone's options), and how any non-Christian is a fool. He posts about how "boughetto" (a crude word which is a combination of "bourgeoisie" and "ghetto") people are loud and stupid and annoying. He frequently deals in stereotypes about black people. On Martin Luther King day, he posted something fucking crazy about having the day off and whether or not it's deserved, and how MLK Jr. himself would say "Ni**er please" in regards to...something...

Elmer has blocked me on facebook, so I can't easily quote the post, but if I can find a way to quote the "Ni**er please" post in the future, I'll add it in. If you're friends with this prick and you can find it, send me a screen cap at WillAndBobby@gmail.com!

Anyway, I find him infuriating. He's a bully. And so I fucking bully him.

Most of the time I just post asinine shit.

For example:

Last week he posted something about how he couldn't wait to go home and have his "supper."

I thought it was absurd that he called "dinner" "supper," so at first I was going to post, "haha, what the fuck? You call it 'supper'?"

But it didn't seem funny enough.

So then I was about to write, "Oh boy, I love 'supper.'"

But then it wasn't weird enough (that's important to me), so I finally posted, "Oh no, my supper is cold :("

Perfect!

It's fucking stupid and irrelevant and not worth getting angry at, while still being weird and funny. And he mostly used to let me get away with just posting weird shit on his page, which was part of the fun.

Not all my posts have been benign though. I've called him out about threatening people.

A year ago, he wrote about how he never forgets the people who wronged him, and how one day they'll pay for it.

It set me off. And I wrote something along the lines of, "So you're threatening people now? I guess someday we'll see your face in the papers."

He went OFF! He freaked out and wrote a long post about how I had compared him to Jared Lee Loughner (a comparison which I didn't intend, but nonetheless find accurate).

I was mostly worried that I might lose the place where I posted absurd bullshit. And this guy is an accidental comedic genius.

That seems like a good enough background to explain what happened a couple of days ago.

Elmer posted this:


How's that for some racist bullshit?!

Really, the fact that black people were once discriminated against and hated means that black people should have learned not to be rude to anybody?

If you're going to use the argument that racism should have an effect on how black people "should" act, it would be that THEY ARE FREE TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY LIKE after white people did whatever the fuck they liked!

You stupid asshole!

You racist piece of shit!

You bow-tie-wearing human trash!

Now I'm not trying to big myself up or make my role in this world more significant than it is...And YES, I am (or WAS) willingly "friends" with Elmer, who I would usually just mock with goofy bullshit, but man this set me off.

He was seeming to revel in his own bullshit and awfulness. His anger is well documented. And more than that, he has people who read his bullshit and agree with him. I don't presume I'm going to change the world, but I also can't very well look at small-minded shit like this and move on. I wanted to call him out on his fucking prejudice.

At first I wrote, "Hey [Elmer], which do you hate more: racism or black people?" But I ended up deleting that and coming up with "It's a good thing white people and Asian people aren't rude at all." 

Compared to what I was originally going to write, that's nothing. Even still, I received a fucking frantic, lunatic, rapid fire, SUPER angry response back about how I had twisted his words and how I was spouting "fallacies," which is a bullshit old-world, biblical term meaning "falsehoods." 

...Which is also old and biblical. 

Fuck...

Anyway, he went on to attack me by saying something along the lines of (I'll add actual quotes if possible) "how do you know I won't post something negative about white people or Asians in the future."

To put it bluntly, he's a defensive nut.

I wrote back "Feel free to surprise me but..." and I went on to point out that even if he eventually posts about how white people can be rude in the modern world, he's currently talking about specifically black people...who he has written about before...in the same shitty negative tone.

I'll say it now: Go fuck yourself  "Elmer."

After this most recent outburst, where I blatantly point out his racism, he finally decided to block me. 

He should have done it years ago.

Unfortunately for me, this son of a bitch gets the best of me here:

He says that I have been antagonizing him for years (again, I'll post the actual quotes in the future if possible). And he's right. I have been. But I'll say again that it's because of his misogyny and racism that I lash out.

He also makes a point of saying that he remembers how I treated him in middle school and high school.

Now we're back to that Jared Lee Loughner bullshit.

What, may I ask, is the point of saying to somebody that you'll remember them for the way they mistreated you, unless you have some plan for how to get back at them?

I'll suggest here and now that "Elmer" has, at least in the back of his mind, some idea of lashing out against the people who has wronged him.

Which means that now I have to explain myself:

I bullied Elmer in middle school, and I have to own up to that.

In 8th or 9th grade (I honestly don't remember), I took a wood-working class which I shared with Elmer.

He was quiet, and I had no reason not to like him, but he shared a work station with me and a girl, whose name I don't remember.

I flirted with the girl, and we joked around, and we were goofy, and we made fun of anything and everything, including Elmer.

I'll remind you again that "Elmer" is a nickname for the actual guy. It's a similar name to the real thing, though, so when I tell you that me and that girl called him "Smellmer," you may well work out what his actual name is.

"Smell" was definitely a part of the name, is what I'm saying.

But it had no true basis.

He wasn't smelly, he wasn't weird, he was just quiet and fine.

I'll tell you right now, that by calling him "Smellmer", I thought the natural perception was not I was calling Elmer a loser, but that by calling him "Smellmer," I was calling myself a loser!

It was a joke on a joke.

I thought I was making fun of people who make fun of people.

"Smellmer" is the dumbest, most illogical name in the world, so by using it, I was making fun of people who might actually use it.

But no matter what, whether I intended that fucking stupid name to be hurtful or not, I have to own up to the result, which was evidently that I hurt Elmer's feelings.

I feel bad about that as a 9th grader. If at all possible, I would definitely send a message to my 15/16 year-old-self saying "leave Elmer alone," but as a 25 year-old man, I think "fuck you Elmer, you racist fuck."

So that was middle school. He has every right to say that he remembers how I treated him then, and he has  every right to hate me for it.

But high school? I don't remember shit about him then! I don't think I spoke to him at all!

So once again: fuck you Smellmer! You're talking out of your smelly, racist, ass!

No matter what, he posted that thing about how he remembers me for how I "treated" him in middle school and high school, which I interpret to mean he'll one day show up on my front step with a gun.

I'll be waiting...To die I guess...Because I don't think I'll dodge those bullets like Batman.

Yes.

I was a bully.

10 years ago.

But Elmer is a bully now.

He blocked me, and he's way smarter than man, and he works for the fucking government, but still I say, "fuck you, you racist piece of shit."

Honestly though, how awesome will it be if he tries to murder me? 

If I'm found dead, seek Smellmer. 

Actually, first check if it was a heart attack, I'm pretty overweight. If there are bullet holes, though, drive straight to Smellmer.

If you're reading this, and you know who "Elmer" REALLY is, then I suggest you go nuts on his wall, denouncing his crazy views. Fuck that asshole and his asshole friends.

Facebook is a public forum. You're free to think whatever crazy bullshit you want, but when you put it on a public site like that, don't expect it to be the same as putting it in a journal you keep under your bed. People can see it and respond. Facebook is a place for conversation and debate.

It's like being at a party, and everyone you know is there, and a few hundred people you've never met, and you see someone you used to know and you happen to notice they're saying something horrible about somebody else. Do you walk up to them and say, "hey man, that's not cool," or do you just pretend it didn't happen?

What I'm saying is that in a moment like that, you feel compelled to do one of those two things: step up or move along.

I couldn't help myself, so I stepped up. Frankly I wish I had been more brazen and given him more shit.

Life's too short to let people get away with hurting each other.

The last thing I got to say to Smellmer before the block was that I do regret being a shit head in middle school, but I'm going to call out bullshit when I see it.

He followed up with a fucking knockout punch. He really got me good. He wrote:

"Enjoy spending the rest of your life pretending to be humble while mistreating people."

Fuck. He was right: I was pretending to be humble and I was accidentally writing like some small town super-hero.

He'll never fucking see the last thing I wanted to say to him though, because I was blocked JUST before I could send it... 

My last message to Elmer is:

"Thanks!"

Bully the bullies!

Concerns, thoughts, questions, stories? Comment here or email me at WillAndBobby@gmail.com!